The Voices

From the first I can remember there was a voice in my heart and a voice in my head. I longed to run, in my heart I was fleet like the Cheetah, faster than any obstacle, so fast that…but the voice in my head said “look around. There are ones who run faster than you…you are less.” And I listened and the more I listened the slower I became.

The voice in my heart longed to sing−to play the sounds of creation−to explore music in all its vastness. There was no song I could not try, no note too high…but the voice in my head said, “Listen to that one. They sing so much better than you…this other one plays better than you…you are less.”

The voice in my heart longed to dance, to swirl and twirl to the rhythm of the universe, it sought pure movement, to put into expression the very joy of life itself…but the voice in my head said, “Look around. There are steps to learn and others who move better than you. Their bodies are sleeker, and more flexible than yours, you are less.”

And the more that I listened to the voice in my head, compared myself to others and competed for their attention, the more I saw less. No matter how much I practiced, how hard I trained, there was always some one faster, someone better, someone more beautiful, more smart, more deserving…and I was less.

But when I was alone and all was calm, when I stopped comparing and complaining of all I was not. The voice in my heart still softly sings, beckoning me to be free from care and dare to dance my own steps, to sing my own song, to run my own pace. The message of my heart shouted, “You are MORE. Stardust courses through your veins, the very atoms that collided in the big bang of the universe are in you now. And like the universe you are ever expanding, expressing more of unlimited potential that lies within. You find your power not in comparisons or competitions, but by simply being the unique and beautiful creation that already are. You and you alone, write your story, set the pace, play the music. To dance with creation is to surrender all thought and move to the primordial rhythm that pulsates throughout the cosmos.”

But when I am with others the voice in my head still seeks to impress by belittling, to win points through arguing, to get attention by taking from others and to seek power from overpowering others and domination. It tells me that I am MORE, when you are LESS.

But the voice of my heart knows that relationships grow by addition, not by subtraction. The less one feels about themselves, the less they have to give. But when you help those you care for to think more of themselves, the more they have to give you in return. This cycle of giving and cooperative exchange, is the driving force of the universe. The sun does not say to the earth, “I will give you light, if you praise and worship me. The sun gives the energy necessary for life to the earth, simply by being what it is and doing what it does naturally.

But the voice in my head still argues that there can be only one winner – only one who is the greatest, but my heart sings of harmony—a model where everyone wins, and not just a privileged few. Over the years these two voices have battled for my attention. The voice in my head is loud and insistent on getting its way, while the voice of my heart is soft and patient, waiting until I am ready to hear its wisdom. I have often wondered which voice has the most power to influence my life, and only now do I see the answer, the one that I give the most focus—for it is my choice which gives action to the innate, and manifestation to the unseen, and my focus, which creates what I experience of reality.